modern day shakespeare

11:47PM - You don't eat popcorn while watching porn dude.

So towards the tail end of last year I kind of cleaned house on the people whom I cared about and cared about me.  I took stock and figured out who mattered and who didn't matter and because of it I cut out Maggie and Vanessa from the inner circle of my life.  Now earlier this yr Vanessa called me randomly (after ignoring my calls and texts for a 2 months) and she was crying because something happened in her life.  Now, I was a dick to her because it had to be done and so I figured that was done for good.  Now Maggie and I saw each other briefly after her show and I thought things were going to progress forward, but my hopes were quickly dashed and she is gone from my life forever.  Monday night of this week Vanessa called me.  I was with Erik and Sara so I couldn't talk much but she did apologize for how she was being and I told her I would call her later in the week.  Yesterday I called her and she answered but she was on the other line and told me she would call me back later that night.  It is now Thursday night and I still have yet to hear from her, which to me..fuck I just don't need that in my life anymore.

At this moment I am stuck in the biggest fucking rut.  I love my job but other than that this is a miserable summer.  I cannot stay motivated to do anything but sit around wathcing tv and playing video games.  Books aren't speaking to me like they used too, my writing isn't interesting to me and when I do sit down to write I get crazy distracted every 5 minutes.  I just feel so incredibly restless.  Even as I write this I pause to go look at some other website that I don't need to look at, but can't seem to control the impulse!

I do have some cool things coming upa nd I am hoping a little break from the norm will re-invigorate me, like the trip to Vegas Erik and I have next weekend.  It will be nice to get away from it all and it will be nice to do so with my best friend!

10:06PM - Is this thing still on?

So I have been a very neglectful person in regards to the ole LJ as of late.  I am not sure if this is because nothing exciting is happening or because I just don't feel like it as much anymore.

As far a slife.  I saw Maggie for the first time in about 7 months.  I miss her something fierce, but am incredibly hesitant about the whole thing.  I am very conflicted about it, so I guess I just have to leave the whole thing up to her.  I can only take what she gives me and try not to let my guard down so early, or maybe not at all.  We shall see.

I bought a PlayStation 3 today.  Rarely do I really splurge on myself, but every so often, when I do, I go all out.  So yes, I dropped about $600.00 bucks today.  I bought the system, 1 game and paid for a game that come sout in August at a cheaper price because I was buying it early.  I am still not entirely sure how I feel about it but I believe I will be getting a lot of use out of it, seeing as how I have been pl;aying the PS2 a lot more lately.  So I imagine about 2hrs a day with the PS3 will make it worth it to me.

School is going alright.  I am hesitant to really talk much abou tit because the next few weeks feel like they are going to just be nuts.  I am certainly anticipating my first school break in 2 yrs.

I start my new job on Sunday, which means I will have worked 3 jobs during April.  The Golf Course was good to me, it really was, but let us be honest, a movie theater is much more my style.  I will be working the midnight of Spiderman, which means I can't see it then, although I am trying to get Mike to run it Wednesday night for the employees.  I hope it works!!

As far as tv goes, Bones and The Shield are the best shows on.  24 is going through a weak season, yet remains fairly gripping.  I have started watching Drive and while it is only 4 episodes in, I really am enjoying but feel it willbe cancelled before we see an end.  I missed Smallville and Supernatural last week, but I am hoping the website will have them at some point.  Oh and Grey's seems to be finding its way again.  However, I never had a problem with the storylines like so many others did.  Stupid people and their damn fandom nonsense!

10:16PM - My first AI experience of the yr

So I watched my first episode of American Idol tonight. I have to say it was incredibly underwhelming.

I really enjoyed 3 of them. Liked 1 more. Liked the way one more looked and dressed. The other 5 coudl disappear from this planet and the ears and eyes of our nation would be better off.

8:18PM - I'm not a star because stars fall

I have been neglecting my LJ as of late but I don't have a very godo reason for the absence. I cannot claim to be busy or anything because I am the opposite of busy. In fact I am wasting away and the first thing that left was my drive to do anything at all. I hate it and need school to start!

I have an addiction to VH-1's "The White Rapper Show". Not because I think any aprticularly talented but because it has some entertainment value and I enjoy Mc Serch bringing in Legends and bringing a sense of hip-hop history to the show.

I had an awesome conversation with Liz last night after a tear worthy Grey's Anatomy. Sometimes the amount of truth I give her surprises me. ANyway we discussed happiness and apathy. I think apathy is my favorite emotion and the one that could be best used to describe me and my life at this moments towards the opposite sex. Also indifference works, which I guess is essentially the same thing. I have a crush that I justw an tto go away and I have a grl I like that I wish would just go away, so I am going to remain apathetic towards the whole thing until I eventually don't care.

6:11PM - Who is this clown?

So I am going on day 3 of being down wih the sickness. It made for a not very fun weekend and is making the beginning fo the week miserable. I guess that is the way the world works I guess. I don't know why I keep getting sick recently. It usually only happens when I am overloaded in the stree department, but I haven't felt too much stress lately. Things are going pretty well for me, which is about as good as I expect things to be in my life on any given day. My room is literred with kleenex and cough drop wrappers. I seem to have an endless supply of both, although none of it seems to be helping me in my quest to get over this obnoxious cold.

My sister and I watched Step Up today. How hard do you try to fault a movie that is ultimately well intentioned? I mean the acting is awful, the story is about as unoriginal as a story can be and the dialogue was trite and cliche riddled, but when a movie is about trying to better yourslef and prove to everyone you are worth it, how badly do you care about the other things? The dancing was pretty spectacular and the lead girl is about as hot as a girl needs to be, so I was content for the most part

24 returned to me last night...oohhh man, so freaking stoked to have that one back in my life!!!

The bookstore here is closing and having crazy sales so I bought 7 books for 35 bucks today. I think I am going to go back on Friday for one last shot but so far I have bought 13 books for a total of $77.00.

4:35PM - Like Lord of the rings it is long, big and one hell of a ride

I have to say while it is weird having Jackson home, I am loving it! He hasn't changed much at all at face value. I am sure spiritually he is all kinds of different, but since I don't really see that side of him, I don't have to deal with it. Of course, tonight while we watch a PG-13 rated Batman Begins will be the big test as to who he is. Apparetly he didn't enjoy the swearing in X3.

Christmas overall was about the best Christmas one could ask for. I mean most of all it was just great having Jackson home, but on the gift level, it was amazing. I mean when it was all said and done, I got the Ipod, 4 books, a cd, 2 calendars, a borders gift card (which I bought 5 book with today, taking my total to 9, some school supplies and my parents decided to pay for my entire plane ticket to NY!!!!!!!!

We also went to see Happy Feet. Jackson was consistently amazed at the animation. I guess the technology has come a long ways in 2 yrs. I think we forget that because we see the updated stuff all the time. He didn't enjoy the political side of the film, but what amazed me is how much my family loves that movie while being completely oblivious to the obvious shots it takes at organized religion/

Last night Erik and I went to see "Children of men". I'll have a full review at my review blog, but in short, it can be added to the list of best movies of 2006. It is stunning.

I went to church on sunday. I can't ever properly convey how being in church makes me feel and just how uncomfortable I am when I am in that building, It has nothing to do with anyone else because they are all kind people and I have always liked the majority of them, but there is something inside me that just wants to scream when I am there. I think some of it is guilt, some of it is just sadness and a part of it is this hope that the things they say aren't true because if they are my family's disappointment in me is only going to get on a much grander scale.

Current mood: blah

Current music: fairwell- Benefit

4:07PM - I usually do it here but not anymore

So my usual end of the year movie review is now located at: http://maddhadder.blogspot.com/

It has my 10 favorite movies and 3 least favorite movies of the year as well as a list of surprises and disappointments, go read and comment your own list and all that good stuff.

9:09PM - Why is the penguin beating me up?

I met my future wife tonight. Yes, yes I did. it could be confusing, but what can I say. I am in love.


Ok I just finally saw the Ronnie Price dunk over Boozer. WOW!!!

You can download the O Holy Night from Monday's Studio 60. UMMMM amazing. I am very glad I have it on my computer.

I was looking at the back of the Gwen Stefani cd. The production on it had to be expensive. Looks like it would great too. However, everything I have heard have made it not be worth it to me.

The OC was soooo good. Man it is definitely back to form. I like the whole Seth thing. Staying in OC with Summer. I am loving Taylor. She has been written in a very funny way and the actress just knocks it out of the park. Also, they are back to having eccentric random supporting characters again.

I am in a good fun flirty mood right now. Go me! Maybe I should delete this line and just put it as my mood.

Ok so those new "combo" commericals are killing me. They are aboiut a product that is a pizza or cheese wrapped in a pretzel and the commerical has a guy dressed as a woman telling her son to eat them and the tag line "combos what your mother would tell you to eat if she were a man" It kills me!!

The book for Thank you for smoking is not as good as the movie, at least not as of yet. it lacks the punch of the film. It is toow ordy for its content, I think.

So I am taking a 3 hour night course on Shakespeare next semmester. It could be amazing or horrid. I am a bit nervous about it.

10:50PM - It certainly wasn't worthy of a remake

So I have this lack of motivation in my life right now. It is not something I have had a problem with in almost 2 yrs. I can't start or finish anything right now. I wan tot start a book, I wan tto go further with rhe two stories I started while sitting in Geology, but here I sit, de-motivated. I need a muse. Yes, a muse is required. Anyone know of any??

Studio 60 just killed me on Monday.soooooo Good. Aaron Sorkin remains the premier holiday writer! I wept, just wept.

I want to put an end to females not singing in their songs. I am tired of horride lyrical efforts being hailed as radio hits just because kids like to spell things. If Fergie died, I would organize the biggest party ever. She and her ugly ass sin plastic face need to drop off the planet

What if it were against the law for people to say "Its freezing" unless it were actually freezing? Like you could get a citezin's ticket every time you exagerated the level of cold in the world. That would make my life.

The more I listen to the new Jay album the more I appreciate it. It is really growing on me hardcore.

Current mood: aggravated

Current music: Saigon and Dead Prez- Impeach the president

9:23PM - Comfort me through all this madness

So I have had the recent oppurtunity to be there for someone. I feel like it has been forever since I felt useful to anyone. It felt good to be needed, or wanted in that capacity. I am so at my most comfortable being a friend, comforting or cheering someone up. Not even that, just talking to someone getting to know someone more. Yay for that!

I am getting bored of the show. I hate that I am getting bored and I am trying to keep myself energized, but it is tough.

I am very happy with the current direction of the OC. It is funny and interesting again. Plus, Taylor is hilarious!!

The semester is finally winding down!! I am going to have the worst semester ever when it is all said and done.

I can register for classes on friday. Mucho Excitedness.

6:02PM - I want to break free

So, I am talking to Jessica, she has a place for me to crash. I am going to really look into going to NY this spring. I am getting very excited just thinking about it!

I got to hang out with Brandi for like 3 hrs today. It makes me hapy to see her. We just cruised downtown Wioodland. Hit a few antique shops, ate cookies from Cookie company and hit the comic book store. She makes me smile.

So after leaving callbacks last night I realized soemthing sad, everyone I saw leaving the theater was getting right on their phone and calling their significant other about callbacks and it made me sad that I don't really have that one person you need to tell things to right away.

Got the new Dane Cook dvd on tuesday. soooo good. I am loving it. It isn't all flatout hilarious like some of his other stuff, but I like that he didn't rely on his old material, he went out and got basically a whole new act for the show

Met yet another hot Britney and a hot Ashley, further proof ugly Britneys and Ashleys do not exist.

Currently getting creamed in my poly sci class for the second time in 2 weeks. I LOVE IT!!! SOme people just can't handle me.

Current mood: crazy

Current music: Diamonds and pearls- Prince

10:27PM - I've been lying a lot lately, lie accomplished!

This weekend pretty much was not fun. I have enjoyed talking a lot with Amy and Troy at the show. As wlel as the usual conversations with Kayla and Taryn, but I just was not with the show this weekend and especially not today. BLEH

I am coming down hard on myself right now, for everything. I can't seem to shake it either.

Have auditions for Seussical on Tuesday, hopefully I can break myself out of the funk by then.

I am all caught up on Grey's anatomy and WOW!!!! It really just keeps getting better

Heroes is great despite all of the issues I currently have with some of it.

I saw the first little teasers for the new season of 24 and I almost went crazy!!! WOW!!!!

Speaking of trailers, before the new Bond I saw the full new Spiderman trailer...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I need it to be MAY!!!!!!!!!

Oh and I am already soooooo over Christmas!!!

10:32PM - over girl, show me what you are workin with

So opening weekend has come and gone(p.s) I started this post last night and decided against it, i came to start one today and that first statement had been saved. I didn't know that was possible!)

Today I got semi caught up on after a horrible day of school.

Tomorrow I do 2 movies, Wednesday I have lunch and hang out with Erik. Thursday is Turkey day.

Friday I have dinner with Buffee But first I am hoping maybe a lunch with Taylor??? You are home right??? I should call you instead of asking you via LJ.

Nothing else exciting is happening. I am pretty much mad at everyone, but mostly at myself for starting to believe everyone and their opinions.

My Poly-Sci text book had its first semi interesting chapter today, only 12 chapters into the book. It was about the first amendment. It didn't bore me completely. Also, I think I am about to get a message board whooping from my entire on-line class, since i was the only one not entirely anti-flag burning.

4:01PM - devious stares in my direction kind of turn me on

So, tech week begins on Sunday and I believe it will not be terribly pleasent. The costume aspect of this show is a nightmare. Weird, I have seen the show twice and that thought never entered my head, which leads me to believe that I am clueless when it comes ot theater, period.

I got a C on my last Geology test and I am happy about it. That shows you where my mind state is this semester. I do have orientation for Sac State on Monday which I am excited for. Hopefully will also get the ball moving on financial stuff and try and plan my life for the next 6 months or so.

I feel like this year has just flown by crazy fast. I think a big part of is that since May I have pretty much been in a rehearsal or show every day. I wonder how I will do come January when I am showless

Studio 60 got picked up for the entire season and it makes me veyr happy. I am not holding out hope that we will get asecond one BUT this means I'll have a full season of dvds to watch!!

I am burning through Action very quickly. I love Jay Mohr in this kind of role. he became famous for this kind of role in Jerry maGuire. He says people still call him Bob Sugar, that makes me laugh.

Kings put together their first complete game last night and it made me happy. I know a lot of people have them written off this season but I think they could surprise some folks.

3 shows over the next 3 days- Oliver at DMTC, Annie at RSP and Tell me on a sunday at I have no idea where.

When I started to write this entry I had envisioned a much more entertaining entry, but I think nothing terribly interesting has happened to me, bummer.

10:10PM - I see you and I want to stab my eyes

So I think I got a bit of a glimpse into a theater-less future today as I sat around doing homework and watching tv with my sister. I am bored at this point, but can't seem to pull myself away from the computer, which worries me in a completely different way.

Tried to watch something called Canibal the musical tonight. It was pretty awful. I thought I'd like it because it is the South Park guys but i just didn't. I think it has something to do with all the voices they doa re so familiar to me on south park that they aren't entertaining in other venues.

My Political science book is super boring usually, but today they made an assasination joke and it made me chuckle more thna a text book should.

I started this book yesterday called "Long way down." it is about 4 people who run into each other at this spot that is famous for ju,ping suicides and they are all there seperatly to kill themselves. So far it is full of wit and has a few interesting insights about fate and life. I am hoping it sustains itself for the next 200 something pages.

My stalker is amusing me this evening. It kind of makes it all worth it, really.

I watched a few episodes of Sports Night today. Oh man I forget how addicting that show is!

I will be gettng Jay Mohr's show Action through netflix next week, super stoked off that!!!

Current mood: cranky

Current music: Hurt you- Busta Rhymes and Eminem

11:18PM - you give me chills

sooo I had a root canal today, they suck. Dentists lie, but the results are favorable and I feel like I can go back to being normal in terms of cold liquids

OC started tonight, but i missed the first 20 minutes because I set my tape up for the wrong time. I really enjoyed what I did see though. I am sure the protest heavy Summer will probably annoy me at some point but I enjoyed the awkwardness of the episode. I am not too sold on a vengeful Ryan at this point, but the Comic book scene tonight kind of perfectly summed up the OC for me. It was touching yet kind of corny. perfect! I think some of the fans will probably hate the dircetion it is going, but I like it. The acting was probably better tonight than any other episode. A darker OC works for me!

I am going over to the high school tomorrow for the fall play. I should be well rested since I am taking tomorrow off to relieve some of the pain from my mouth. It was ok when I was sitting or laying, but at rehearsal tonight it was really acting up.

I have given up on Standoff and probably Prison break at this point. I keep forgetting to tape prison break and am like 4 episodes behind. Smallville and Supernatural are always must watch. Studio 60 is brilliant, but it is hard to be excited about it when I keep thinking NBC is going to cancel it every week. Heroes has horrible writing but good twists and interesting stories. Veronica Mars also continues to charm me.

There is such thing as Model of the year. Do you think the gift bags for those things are filled with rice cakes and tic tacs?

I am very much looking forward ot my Gilmolre Girls saturday with my sister. It makes me very happy!

Current mood: groggy

Current music: Gamble everything for love-Ben Lee

10:05PM - Venting venting venting

I am going to vent on my LJ, something I have not done in a very long time, but since no one reads this thing anymore it is the perfect place fo rit!

Numkber 1- I do not typically like people who pretend that everything is ok all of the time, not that they are all necessarily peppy, but they try to surround themselves with this faux positive energy in an attempt to keep from thinking about anything down or negative. To me, that is just diosaster wasiting to happen. When you live like that evetually you snap and can't deal with the reality that just bitch slapped you. My problem is, the girl I am starting to get very interested in is one of those people and I am so incredibly not that kin do fperson. If I have an off day, I'll act like I had an off day. Plain and simple. I am not sure if is going to lend itself to the possibility of this working. Now, the only reason this is a problem is because it seems, to others, that she is interested in me as well, which of course seems highly unlikely to me, but I presume it is possible.


Number 2- I have no medical, vision or dental insurance. I work part time and am too old to be on my parents insurance anymore. I have to have over $2,600.00 dollars worth of dental work I need in the near future. Apparently the last dental trip I had didn't do the job correctly. Also, my new dentist wants to file some of my teeth to give my teeth more room to breath and also make it easier on me to brush and floss since all ym problems lie between my stupid small mouth. Plus, he wants ot put me on this special toothpaste. Special meaning 16 dollars a fucking tube!!!

Number 3- Ther eis something about Geology that I just do not get, nor do I care to get it. My professor teaches this course as if we all want to be geologists and the subject matter does not stick in ym head. I pay attention, I try to do the homework and study for tests, but when the time comes, I just lose it all and bomb hardcore. That is so not like me, to just fail liek I have been and it is making me doubt myself a lot. I know it is only one class and it is a class that doesn't matter int he grand scheme of my education or my life, but it still sucks. Also, in Geology ther eis a lot of "maybe it did this" or "it is possible this happened" because it is a science that mostly happens where humans can't see, they guess on everything and I have no neat little ways to rememebr shit!!


The end.

Current mood: aggravated

Current music: Fort Minor

1:32AM - "I'll fucking kill you!"

So, I am talking to a girl on AIM that I think I might like, this is bad news.

The show went well tonighjt, not as well as some others, but strong still. There was an overwhelming sense of lack of energy.

I have talked to Jessica on the phone twice this week, it makes me happy to have my best friend in my life!!

I miss my friends who are living their lives away from me. I am happy they are living their lives, but I am selfish and want them to be with me, so I can witness all their fantasticness. Who cares if I just created a word.

I want to cvatch the Grudge 2 tomorrow and Flag of our fatherson Sunday. Plus, The Prestige this week with Jeff.

Also I have to study for my lab midterm for Geology and get my presentation for pop music class ready soon.

Also, I have to have a root canal soon. WHYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

9:36PM - It is easier if you trust me, without me having to trust you. Trust me!

Yet another night off from Beauty and the Beast rehearsal and I am totally cool withit. I figured I'd get bored or something by now, but I am enjoying the off night.

I watched the Bomb episodes of Grey's Anatomy and I have to say that the acting saved it from becoming just too far over the top for my brain to rationalize from a show that is usually pretty well grounded in a reality based situation.

The weekend was terribly rough with 4 shows instead of the usual 3 shows. It is amazing how much one extra show can totally throw off your entire equalibrium for a weekend. The shows all went very well and I wasn't sick this weekend, so thats good. I did however lose 2 games of chess before re-claiming my manhood in that venue.

Other than that I didn't get the chance to do much. Erik and I went over to the casa de Mac after Friday's show for some kick back time. I enjoyed it although sleeping in the tiny bed didn't do my back and neck any favors.

I wrote my Subway rant over at:http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog&Mytoken=C9AE6A45-6793-47C0-A266A4DDA58D2B6223846174

Also, my crush has passed. It makes me feel good to just have a cursh for a few weeks then let it fade out into obliviion

Supposedly going to Sac State tomorrow. It is weird that as much as I want to hurry and be there, I find myself scared of it.

Also, this toothache is getting to be unbearable so I might be visiting a Dentist on thursday. GOD HELP ME!!!!

I wish I had the inclination to write more, but I don't. If I did the words morose and apathetic would be used much to often.

Current mood: morose

Current music: Kiss and say goodbye-Chi-lites, I think

10:05PM - I am selfish, I am wrong

So i was considering a lengthy diatribe about jerks in the subway sandwich line, but I think I am just too tired for a rant of that nature. I'll just say, people are moronic and should be put to death.

Forced Lucky number Slevin on Erik, but he liked it so it wasn't really forced upon him.

Also, I am 10 episodes into season 2 of Grey's anatomy and I have to say that I very much enjoying it, even if it isn't terribly original and has a few obnoxious characters. Also, voice over narration is kind of boring when you hear it throughout every freaking episode. It is such a cheap trick for the writers to get what they want to say without using creativity of story telling.

Ok, note to self stop getting crushes on sweet christian girls.

So, I have firmly been standing by this ideal of not dating just to date, but I find myself curious, although I am not sure if that is a good enough reason.

a little while ago one of my dead light bulbs went all zombieish and came back to life, freaked me out. Luckily this kind of zombie is not the flesh eating kind or else I would not be sitting here typing this